One thing that can happen when your spouse is cheating is that all of a sudden they take what you thought were good and happy times between you two  and twist them in to some of the worst times they have ever had.
Some people call this re-writing marital history, and it can be extremely crazy making.
All of a sudden, you find yourself questioning all the things that you thought were really positive about yourself and your lives together. Them asking you to take care of the budget and bill paying can turn into ” you’re too controlling”, you wanting to spend time with them becomes ” you’re too clingy”, you telling them to spend a night out with their friends morphs into ” you don’t want me around”…
You may have had a wonderful life together, but all of a sudden life with you was dull and boring…you  never have anything to talk about, etc.
If you’ve heard  these things , or something like them, you’ll know what I mean and just how much it can get you all turned around. You begin to question everything about your relationship and it can be very draining emotionally.
Why does a cheating spouse do this? I think they do it out of guilt. They know what they are doing is wrong, they know they are hurting you, and on some level, that makes them feel like a heel. It’s hard to enjoy an affair when you know it’s hurting  someone who really hasn’t done anything wrong, so a little historical revision of your marriage can make that guilt go away.
Then there’s the added bonus that if you become angry or sad about this chnage in attitude , that further reinforces their skewed perception.
My advice to you is to not let it get to you. You know yourself what things are like, what they were like. Hold to that, and weather the storm. Don’t give them the satisfaction of arguing about it with them. Don’t let it hurt your self esteem.