One of thing that can be very important to you right now is finding support. For some, that means telling people what happened. Some do this, some prefer to hide the fact that their spouse has cheated. There is no right or wrong way to handle it. Do whatever works for you.
I told my parents and some close friends. I live far away from any of my relatives, but my parents were there for me 100%, as were my friends.
My friends took me out for coffee to talk about what had happened. I was supposed to be at a board meeting with them that night, but I was devastated and knew I couldn’t go; besides, with the state I was in, I wouldn’t have been any use that night anyway. I called my other close friend who was also on the board, and as soon as the meeting was over, they came to get me.
We sat out in her van and we talked for a long time. I sat in the back, as I didn’t want them to see how bad it was or me, but they knew. I had no idea what I was going to do, but talking about things helped so much. After that, they made sure to get me out of the house when they could, and during the times when my husband was waffling back and forth, they also made sure I got to all my kids appointments on time.
My mom and dad were also great. they talked me through a lot of things, and were kind but firm. They let me be sad and cry, but they also made sure that I started standing up for myself and making some very difficult choices.
I know it was hard for them to hear me go through all of that. My dad especially had his heart broken too. It’s just part and parcel of the pain that affairs can cause.
I once heard an other woman lament about how the betrayed spouse has it so much easier than an other woman, as "she at least has her spouse for support and she isn’t alone". To that, I say ” are you kidding me? The very idea of what you’re saying is ridiculous…but given your attitude, it’s about what I expected”
Some people really are as thick as brick…
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