Feeling Really Lost

After my husband left, I was feeling totally lost and absolutely shocked. I never, not in a million years, thought that something like this could happen.

We’d been married almost twelve years, and I’d always thought that we’d had a good marriage. While we’d had our ups and downs, things had always been solid between us.

All of a sudden, one of the major truths that I’d known in my life was gone…and that can totally throw you off balance. I found it hard to eat, sleep, and just functioning was difficult. I started losing weight (  a long time afterwards I jokingly referred to it as “losing the affair 30″ ) and just generally felt miserable.

I wanted to cry, scream, curl up in a ball and just be left alone. Nothing made any sense to me anymore.

A few weeks before all of this, we’d gotten a Wii, and I put it to good use doing the Wii Fit exercises ..they kept my mind off things, especially at night when things were quiet and there was nothing else to think about. I’d do them until was so tired I could hardly see straight…that’s what it took for me to fall asleep every night.

We have several children, who were quite young at the time. In some ways it made it harder, as I had to put on a happy face for them..in other ways, they saved me because they took my mind off of things…

They had their problems and issues that needed my attention. I couldn't focus solely on myself.

More about children and affairs in future posts.