A welcome to other men and other women…
So you are the ” other man” or “the other woman”, and you’ve stopped
by to take a look at my blog. Maybe you want to get a better
understanding of how a betrayed spouse thinks, maybe you feel guilty
about being part of an affair and you want out, or maybe you don’t feel
guilty and you were just curious. Whatever your reason for taking a
look, I’m glad you did and welcome to my blog . Please stay a while and
read some posts…I promise I won’t bite 
Since you are here, I hope that you stick around and come back often. I also hope that you don’t mind me addressing you and your situation. I urge you to read this, as you may find that there is a whole lot more going on than you realize.
First- I don’t hate you, have ill feelings towards you or wish harm to you. Mind you, I haven’t always felt this way. There was a time when I was very hurt and angry, and if you are the person I think you are, I’m sure you can understand why I would have the feelings I did. In you, I saw my husband’s other woman. I assumed that all other men and women were like her, which was an unfair and incorrect assumption.
You see, the more I got to know other men and other women, the more I came to see that in many ways, they weren’t that different from me. The only real difference is that they had made a choice I wouldn’t make. They all had their own reasons, and they usually had nothing to do with wanting to hurt someone else. Most just wanted the same thing that we all do…someone to love who would love them back.
Second-You may not realize it, but there is a very good chance that the married person you are involved with is lying to you about what their betrayed spouse is like.
Have you ever really sat down and thought about the betrayed spouse at home, what they are like and what being married to them is like?
If your view is that they are a nasty person and that being married to them must be horrible, ask yourself why you feel that way. Is it because of something your affair partner has told you? If so, consider this: the person who tells you this has every reason to lie and no real reason to tell you the truth. If you are the person I think you are, then you don’t wnat to hurt soemone who doesn’t , on some level, deserve to be hurt.
From everything I have learned from my many conversations with other men and women, it’s easier to not think of the betrayed spouse at all. If they are a “non-entity”, you don’t have to feel bad about hurting them. If you can’t do that, it’s easier to think that they don’t care if their spouse cheats or that they are a terrible husband or wife who deserves everything they get.
While I won’t make the claim that every betrayed spouse is a wonderful person, most are just your average people…no better or worse than anyone else. Do I seem like a terrible person? No? Did I deserve to be cheated on? Well my spouse cheated on me, and likely your affair partners spouse isn’t much different than me.He or she is probably a nice person too.
Third- Your married man/woman is likely still sleeping with their husband or wife, still having sex, still doing all the “married things” most couples do.
When you think about it , it makes sense. If your married man or woman doesn’t want their spouse to find out, they need to keep things going in their marriage. Some are so good at this that their spouse never suspects anything. Some are terrible at it and they end up treating their spouse really badly, to the point that they become emotionally or even physically abusive.
Fourth- Do they say that they are “staying for the kids…they don’t want to risk hurting them”?
Seriously, this is something I don’t get. they don’t want to hurt the kids, yet they are doing the one thing that has a huge chance of hurting them? Come on, who do they think they are fooling?
Fifth- YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH MORE THAN THIS!
Sorry for the caps, but I can not stress that point enough. You deserve to have a relationship that is built on honesty and trust. there shouldn’t have to be any sneaking, lying or deception. You should be able to walk down any street hand in hand with the person you love, and not feel like you have to hide it form anyone. You shouldn’t have to worry that your relationship could hurt someone who really doesn’t deserve it.
So many times I’ve been told about how an affair just ends up with the other man or woman feeling terrible. They end up being eaten up by guilt, they get tired of being hidden, they want a full time relationship but end up waiting for years, or they end up getting cast aside ( to use a popular term ” thrown under the bus”) when the betrayed spouse finds out about the affair.
Don’t do that to yourself! Don’t you deserve better? Of course you do! You have so much to offer and you are wasting yourself and your time on an affair? Don’t find yourself, next year, five years, ten s years or even more down the road looking back and wondering just what the h@ll happened and where all that wasted time went.
Since you are here, I hope that you stick around and come back often. I also hope that you don’t mind me addressing you and your situation. I urge you to read this, as you may find that there is a whole lot more going on than you realize.
First- I don’t hate you, have ill feelings towards you or wish harm to you. Mind you, I haven’t always felt this way. There was a time when I was very hurt and angry, and if you are the person I think you are, I’m sure you can understand why I would have the feelings I did. In you, I saw my husband’s other woman. I assumed that all other men and women were like her, which was an unfair and incorrect assumption.
You see, the more I got to know other men and other women, the more I came to see that in many ways, they weren’t that different from me. The only real difference is that they had made a choice I wouldn’t make. They all had their own reasons, and they usually had nothing to do with wanting to hurt someone else. Most just wanted the same thing that we all do…someone to love who would love them back.
Second-You may not realize it, but there is a very good chance that the married person you are involved with is lying to you about what their betrayed spouse is like.
Have you ever really sat down and thought about the betrayed spouse at home, what they are like and what being married to them is like?
If your view is that they are a nasty person and that being married to them must be horrible, ask yourself why you feel that way. Is it because of something your affair partner has told you? If so, consider this: the person who tells you this has every reason to lie and no real reason to tell you the truth. If you are the person I think you are, then you don’t wnat to hurt soemone who doesn’t , on some level, deserve to be hurt.
From everything I have learned from my many conversations with other men and women, it’s easier to not think of the betrayed spouse at all. If they are a “non-entity”, you don’t have to feel bad about hurting them. If you can’t do that, it’s easier to think that they don’t care if their spouse cheats or that they are a terrible husband or wife who deserves everything they get.
While I won’t make the claim that every betrayed spouse is a wonderful person, most are just your average people…no better or worse than anyone else. Do I seem like a terrible person? No? Did I deserve to be cheated on? Well my spouse cheated on me, and likely your affair partners spouse isn’t much different than me.He or she is probably a nice person too.
Third- Your married man/woman is likely still sleeping with their husband or wife, still having sex, still doing all the “married things” most couples do.
When you think about it , it makes sense. If your married man or woman doesn’t want their spouse to find out, they need to keep things going in their marriage. Some are so good at this that their spouse never suspects anything. Some are terrible at it and they end up treating their spouse really badly, to the point that they become emotionally or even physically abusive.
Fourth- Do they say that they are “staying for the kids…they don’t want to risk hurting them”?
Seriously, this is something I don’t get. they don’t want to hurt the kids, yet they are doing the one thing that has a huge chance of hurting them? Come on, who do they think they are fooling?
Fifth- YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH MORE THAN THIS!
Sorry for the caps, but I can not stress that point enough. You deserve to have a relationship that is built on honesty and trust. there shouldn’t have to be any sneaking, lying or deception. You should be able to walk down any street hand in hand with the person you love, and not feel like you have to hide it form anyone. You shouldn’t have to worry that your relationship could hurt someone who really doesn’t deserve it.
So many times I’ve been told about how an affair just ends up with the other man or woman feeling terrible. They end up being eaten up by guilt, they get tired of being hidden, they want a full time relationship but end up waiting for years, or they end up getting cast aside ( to use a popular term ” thrown under the bus”) when the betrayed spouse finds out about the affair.
Don’t do that to yourself! Don’t you deserve better? Of course you do! You have so much to offer and you are wasting yourself and your time on an affair? Don’t find yourself, next year, five years, ten s years or even more down the road looking back and wondering just what the h@ll happened and where all that wasted time went.
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