Affairs and addiction..one and the same?
I have been a member of one particular internet forum for some time
now, and one view that seems to be somewhat popular there is the idea
that an affair is nothing more than a form of addiction.
In many ways, I feel that this is correct.
I’m sure that there will be those who will feel otherwise. They’ll say that it’s love, taht it’s fate, they are “soul mates”….whatever.
I don’t buy that…
An addiction is when a person compulsively engages in behavior that they know is harmful to them. They know it’s going to wreck their life, but they can’t stop.
So often, affairs are described in just that way. The cheating spouse knows that their behavior can cost them dearly. They could lose their husband or wife, time with their children, their job, the respect of their friends and family. they know they are hurting their spouse, their children and even themselves…yet they simply don’t seem to be able to stop.
Why is this?
Some other men/women take this as proof positive that the married person loves them ( look at what risks he/she is taking to be with me”), yet, when you think about it, how is that love? Someone may be willing to risk maybe their marriage, but the happiness of their children, their job, their firends and family?
That sounds like something very different than “love”…
( I’ve often wondered why would someone ask another person to take that risk if they truly love them…but I guess that’s a question for another post)
In many ways, I feel that this is correct.
I’m sure that there will be those who will feel otherwise. They’ll say that it’s love, taht it’s fate, they are “soul mates”….whatever.
I don’t buy that…
An addiction is when a person compulsively engages in behavior that they know is harmful to them. They know it’s going to wreck their life, but they can’t stop.
So often, affairs are described in just that way. The cheating spouse knows that their behavior can cost them dearly. They could lose their husband or wife, time with their children, their job, the respect of their friends and family. they know they are hurting their spouse, their children and even themselves…yet they simply don’t seem to be able to stop.
Why is this?
Some other men/women take this as proof positive that the married person loves them ( look at what risks he/she is taking to be with me”), yet, when you think about it, how is that love? Someone may be willing to risk maybe their marriage, but the happiness of their children, their job, their firends and family?
That sounds like something very different than “love”…
( I’ve often wondered why would someone ask another person to take that risk if they truly love them…but I guess that’s a question for another post)
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