Thoughts and questions for the other man or woman…

Posted on July 9, 2013 | Leave a comment | Edit

This post may be very offensive to some…if you are currently an other woman or other man,  you might want to skip this post…or maybe not…it’s up to you. Don’t say I didn’t warn you! :D
I really wonder at all the mental gymnastics that an other man/woman has to play in order to rationalize being in an affair. How can someone justify being in something that they know, with nearly 100% certainty, is hurtful to someone else and also themselves?
Time and time again I’ve read stories of how exhausting hopping aboard ” the affair roller coaster” can be. At what point does it stop being worth it? Do you lose part of yourself to the lying, sneaking and overall clandestine nature of the relationship? Do you become someone you don’t even really recognize anymore?
Late at night, when you’re alone, do you ever think about the betrayed spouse at home? Do you ever wonder if they are actually a nice person who really doesn’t deserve any of this? How do you reconcile that with being in the affair? Is it hard knowing that you are part of something that will hurt them so very much?
Do you ever wonder what you would say to them if you met them on the street? Do you even know who they are? Would you just walk by as if nothing was happening or would you feel compelled to talk to them? What would you say? What could you say that would somehow make it okay, or would you even care to try?
Are you jealous of their betrayed spouse? You may feel that you have the “heart” of your married person, but in all likelihood, they have a part that is every bit as big, if not bigger. Do you wonder what they do together? Do you really believe that they don’t/ rarely have sex, that they are more like “room mates”, that there is no love? How would you feel if you found out that all of those are mere fabrications told to you by your married person or fantasies you’ve made in your mind? Would it change anything if you knew the truth?
Sometimes when you hold your other man or woman in your arms can you smell the scent of their spouse on their clothes?  Do you notice the little bits and pieces of their life together…small pieces of things that bind them as one? Do you ever notice the far away look in their eyes and realize that they are thinking of home, thinking of their spouse, wondering how they ever let things get this far? Do you see the regret in their eyes?
When you look in the mirror, how do you feel about the person looking back at you? Do you ever wonder just how things got this far out of control? Do you wish you could go back in time and make it so that you never met your married man/woman?
When it all comes right down to it, is it really worth it?