Excuse me….
Affairs can definitely break hearts and cause a lot of unnecessary
pain and upheaval. There are some many better ways to handle either an
attraction to someone else or problems within a marriage.
From my own experience, from what I’ve learned through talking with others and reading lots of stories from betrayed spouses and unfaithful spouses there are an awful lot of excuses for having an affair.
Often, it’s the usual ” I don’t know how it / it just sort of happened” or ” I love you but I’m not ‘in love’ with you”…but there are explanations that range from kind of funny, to weird to just plain bizarre…here are just a sampling of them:
(a) “you’re too controlling and never trust me” – I wonder why that was never an issue before they met the other man/woman?
(b) “It just sort of happened”…I see- you were just walking along, minding your own business , when you happened to trip, fall , and land with your male parts inside this other woman! How tragic!
(c) ” I wanted to feel young/sexy/handsome/pretty/appreciated again” …hmm….I see. So engaging in something cruel and hurtful made you feel good about yourself? How interesting.
(d) ” We never spend any time together”…pffft! Maybe if you weren’t out goating around with your other man/woman, there’d be more time to spend together
(e) ” we never have/ don’t have enough sex” ” she does things you don’t do” ….Why do you think that is?
(f) ” I’m not attracted to you anymore…you let yourself go”…Well, I didn’t let myself go, but I did change. After have x number of kids and now being x number of years older than I was when we got married, what the heck did you think was going to happen?
(g) -the best ( but lamest) so far …drum roll please……………..
” I’d had a few drinks and she told me she wasn’t wearing underwear”
Look, I know everyone will have a reason for why they cheated, and it is important to take stock of them and see what changes a couple can make to help make their reconciliation successful. The problem is that all too often the person who cheated tries to negate their responsibility by offering up excuses.
If you’ve heard some that you’d like to share, please feel free…I’d love to hear them!
From my own experience, from what I’ve learned through talking with others and reading lots of stories from betrayed spouses and unfaithful spouses there are an awful lot of excuses for having an affair.
Often, it’s the usual ” I don’t know how it / it just sort of happened” or ” I love you but I’m not ‘in love’ with you”…but there are explanations that range from kind of funny, to weird to just plain bizarre…here are just a sampling of them:
(a) “you’re too controlling and never trust me” – I wonder why that was never an issue before they met the other man/woman?
(b) “It just sort of happened”…I see- you were just walking along, minding your own business , when you happened to trip, fall , and land with your male parts inside this other woman! How tragic!
(c) ” I wanted to feel young/sexy/handsome/pretty/appreciated again” …hmm….I see. So engaging in something cruel and hurtful made you feel good about yourself? How interesting.
(d) ” We never spend any time together”…pffft! Maybe if you weren’t out goating around with your other man/woman, there’d be more time to spend together
(e) ” we never have/ don’t have enough sex” ” she does things you don’t do” ….Why do you think that is?
(f) ” I’m not attracted to you anymore…you let yourself go”…Well, I didn’t let myself go, but I did change. After have x number of kids and now being x number of years older than I was when we got married, what the heck did you think was going to happen?
(g) -the best ( but lamest) so far …drum roll please……………..
” I’d had a few drinks and she told me she wasn’t wearing underwear”
Look, I know everyone will have a reason for why they cheated, and it is important to take stock of them and see what changes a couple can make to help make their reconciliation successful. The problem is that all too often the person who cheated tries to negate their responsibility by offering up excuses.
If you’ve heard some that you’d like to share, please feel free…I’d love to hear them!
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