Bad Advice and Toxic Places
When you are dealing with infidelity in your marriage, you may find
yourself desperately seeking any sort of advice and reassurance that you
can get. You may be looking for someone to help make sense out of a
situation that seems so confusing.
When this happens, it’s only natural that people turn to the internet for help. After all, you can get all of this anonymously, and with a wide range of viewpoints, you’re bound to find something that resonates. It doesn’t cost anything, and it’s immediately available.
Before you venture in to the world of “cyber self help”, especially if it is a discussion forum, I would suggest that you take a look first. See who posts there, and what the tone of these posts is.Not all forum are alike.
Some are frequented mostly by betrayed spouses or former wayward spouses who are looking for help and advice. While the opinions posted may not appeal to everyone, they are a good place to start.
Another option is forums that are geared towards all sides of the equation. Some of these are really good ( hint: hope, love and healing is an awesome forum, with responses that are non-biased and honest) and can give a perspective that can be really helpful.
I would be much more wary of forums that say they are for all sides, but are more biased towards the point of view of the other man/other woman.
It can be hard to detect these at first glance, but after a few minutes, it’s pretty easy to spot. It actually becomes nauseating and the really sad part is that they usually do no good for anyone. They not only show a complete lack of respect for the betrayed spouse, but they also encourage other women and other men to hold on to the affair, even after it’s long past its ‘best before date”. The other women and men on sites like these will often project their sadness and daydreams on to the situations of other people, which is just plain sad.
As in all things on the web, use your own thought and good judgement about what you read. If you have just found out about the affair, you may be really hurting and vulnerable, desperate for any sort of solution to take the pain away. Keep in mind that there are no quick fixes. It’s a long term process, but the ends are well worth the efforts.
When this happens, it’s only natural that people turn to the internet for help. After all, you can get all of this anonymously, and with a wide range of viewpoints, you’re bound to find something that resonates. It doesn’t cost anything, and it’s immediately available.
Before you venture in to the world of “cyber self help”, especially if it is a discussion forum, I would suggest that you take a look first. See who posts there, and what the tone of these posts is.Not all forum are alike.
Some are frequented mostly by betrayed spouses or former wayward spouses who are looking for help and advice. While the opinions posted may not appeal to everyone, they are a good place to start.
Another option is forums that are geared towards all sides of the equation. Some of these are really good ( hint: hope, love and healing is an awesome forum, with responses that are non-biased and honest) and can give a perspective that can be really helpful.
I would be much more wary of forums that say they are for all sides, but are more biased towards the point of view of the other man/other woman.
It can be hard to detect these at first glance, but after a few minutes, it’s pretty easy to spot. It actually becomes nauseating and the really sad part is that they usually do no good for anyone. They not only show a complete lack of respect for the betrayed spouse, but they also encourage other women and other men to hold on to the affair, even after it’s long past its ‘best before date”. The other women and men on sites like these will often project their sadness and daydreams on to the situations of other people, which is just plain sad.
As in all things on the web, use your own thought and good judgement about what you read. If you have just found out about the affair, you may be really hurting and vulnerable, desperate for any sort of solution to take the pain away. Keep in mind that there are no quick fixes. It’s a long term process, but the ends are well worth the efforts.
No comments:
Post a Comment