how could you?
One thing ( among many) about being a betrayed spouse that is
extremely unfair is that, no matter what you do, someone will judge you
for it it and say that you should have done the opposite. Here are some
of my favorite examples of some of the judgmental things people say, and
if you have any of your own that you’d like to share in the comments
section, feel free.
- you decide to reconcile: how could you do that? Don’t you know they will just do it again? After all, once a cheater, always a cheater
- you decide to divorce: how could you do that? You should have tried everything and nit just given up on your marriage! ( like anyone ever did that :P )
- you put all the blame on your spouse: how could you do that? After all, don’t you know they were seduced by the big, bad other man/woman?
-you blame the other man or woman for choosing to have an affair with your spouse: How could you do that? They have no responsibility to you
- you tell your kids what happened: How could you do that? Kids need to be shielded and protected form their parents problems.
- you don’t talk to your kids about what happened: How could you dothat? Kids deserve the truth.
- you slowly begin to trust your spouse: How could you do that? How can you ever trust them again?
- you slowly begin to trust your spouse: How can you do that? how can you be so mean tothem and not trust them?
- when you find out about the affair you nicely tell them to leave : How could you do that? How can you be so manipulative? They ahve to levae or stay because they want to, not because you tell them to.
- Whne you find out about the affair, you nicely tell them to leave: How could you do that? You shouldn’t be so nice. You should just throw them and all their belongings outdoors.
There’s lots of other examples, sometime sit seems like you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t.
In the end, trust yourself and your own judgement to do what’s right for you. You know yourslef and your situation better tha anyone else, and you can trust yourslef to make good decisions.
- you decide to reconcile: how could you do that? Don’t you know they will just do it again? After all, once a cheater, always a cheater
- you decide to divorce: how could you do that? You should have tried everything and nit just given up on your marriage! ( like anyone ever did that :P )
- you put all the blame on your spouse: how could you do that? After all, don’t you know they were seduced by the big, bad other man/woman?
-you blame the other man or woman for choosing to have an affair with your spouse: How could you do that? They have no responsibility to you
- you tell your kids what happened: How could you do that? Kids need to be shielded and protected form their parents problems.
- you don’t talk to your kids about what happened: How could you dothat? Kids deserve the truth.
- you slowly begin to trust your spouse: How could you do that? How can you ever trust them again?
- you slowly begin to trust your spouse: How can you do that? how can you be so mean tothem and not trust them?
- when you find out about the affair you nicely tell them to leave : How could you do that? How can you be so manipulative? They ahve to levae or stay because they want to, not because you tell them to.
- Whne you find out about the affair, you nicely tell them to leave: How could you do that? You shouldn’t be so nice. You should just throw them and all their belongings outdoors.
There’s lots of other examples, sometime sit seems like you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t.
In the end, trust yourself and your own judgement to do what’s right for you. You know yourslef and your situation better tha anyone else, and you can trust yourslef to make good decisions.
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