So you’ve just found out about the affair, and it feels like your whole world is crashing down around you. Hopefully, you’ve found out because your spouse told you, but all too often you find out all on your own.
It feels like you’ve been kicked in the gut. At first, you can hardly believe it. How can the person who you trusted to always be in your corner do this to you? Either this is a bad practical joke or there must be some kind of mistake. You realize that it’s all to real…the words are either right there in front of you, either you heard them or saw them printed on the screen or on paper and they hang in the air.
What do you do? How will you get through this? Who did they cheat with/ What will happen to your kids? is this the end of your marriage? What did you do wrong? There’s a million questions flying through your head, and you feel like everything is spinning out of control. Your legs feel weak and you may even feel like you’re going to pass out.
Welcome to the club no one wants to be a part of. Many have been right where you are. The good news is that they have survived it, and so will you.
Breathe and take a minute to get your bearings.
What you do next depends on you and the situation.Did your spouse tell you because they felt guilty?
Do they want the affair to end?
Do they say they want to separate and divorce?
Did they admit to the affair only because you found out on your own or because the other man/woman “outed” you?
All of these questions, plus many more, will be things you’ll need to find the answers to, but that will come later.
Right now, just worry about the immediate concerns. Take deep breaths, relax and try to keep a clear mind. If you need to talk to someone, call a trusted friend or family member, even if it’s late at night. they will understand. If you feel like you might hurt yourself or someone else, call a crisis hotline or even 911
Most importantly remember…you will get through this
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