Marriage counseling…don’t reconcile without it !

Posted on June 12, 2013 | Leave a comment | Edit

I can’t overemphasize the importance of getting marriage counseling after an affair. This is true whether you want to reconcile or go your separate ways.
The simple truth is that the affair happened for a reason. To move the two of you need to figure out what those reason(s) are. Of course, talking about it between yourselves is very important, but having a neutral third party can often help you sort through all the mess and get to the heart of the matter.
Finding a counselor isn’t difficult. All you need to do is look in the phone book or online, and there’ll likely be lists of marriage counselors in your area. Choosing the one that’s a good fit for the two of you can take time. You may need to try several different ones before you find the one that feel right to you. We had to do that. Our first counselor was a nice lady, but not that great of a marriage counselor. The second was wonderful, and we liked her a lot. She was firm yet supportive, and didn’t tell us whatever it was she thought we wanted to hear.
One thing that you need to keep in mind during counseling appointments is that you need to be honest. When we saw the first counselor, my husband lied when he answered some of her questions, and that pretty much ensured it wouldn’t be helpful. Don’t do that. Even if what you have to say is something that you spouse may not want to hear, you need to say it.